#reverb10 prompt: Beyond avoidance. What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)
I don’t want to play the should’ve game. I should have got off my arse, that’s what. But I did what I thought I could.
I wanted to bake vegan, gluten-free gingerbread, but quite frankly I’m feeling too lazy. It’s not like there’s likely to be a lack of sweet things to eat, gingerbread or no – I can just bake something easier. It’s always the same thing with me before Christmas: I start to build up a list of things I “should” do, and keep adding to it daily, and end up feeling like a failure when, inevitably, come Christmas Eve I won’t have brilliant hand-made presents for everyone, a perfectly clean flat nicely decorated and a fridge full of all my old favourites plus new things successfully cooked – enough to feed a non-existent family of ten.
I think part of the problem is thinking that everything has to be ready by Christmas, not before, and then you’re supposed to do nothing for three days. Why can’t I bake gingerbread on Boxing Day? And eat rice porridge today – there’ll be too much stodge later on anyway (one answer: I have no rice).
Any-hoo, things to do. Like buying rice. As for gingerbread, there’s always next year.