Fond Farewells

#reverb10 prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

Looking back, this has been a year of both letting go and very much trying to do so. For one, I went freelance. Goodbye monthly pay, hello perpetual uncertainty. The price of freedom. (Not saying I wouldn’t go for a steady job. I was just long overdue leaving the previous one. Time to jump.)

Faced with the world without the protective layer of employment, and having to deal with the rejections and delays that looking for a job/funding and freelancing necessarily bring, I’ve had to begin to redefine how I see myself, professionally and personally. I guess I’ve been saying goodbye to my younger self and her ideas about the future. This is the future. I’m trying to see it for what it is rather than keep my eye on the distant horizon of next year, or the one after that, or… It’s not easy.*

As for trying to let go…some things are better left private. People are crazy and times are strange. Or do I mean People are strange when you’re a stranger? Hanging with the wrong crowd… Pick a lyric, any lyric.

Let’s add something for next year: I hope to let go of self-censorship. More doing what I want to do, less fulfilling self-set conditions before allowing myself to do it.

*For those of us who struggle with staying in the present, Oliver Burkeman has comforting words. I know I keep linking to his columns all the time but I can’t help it. It’s almost too easy to agree with him – I bet he would be insufferable in person. Either that or we’d immediately slip into an old married couple routine (which might mean much the same thing, of course).

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Howl at the moon

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