[Disclaimer: dear friend, this post is not about you. It’s about me, this being a personal weblog and all that, and those being narcissistic endeavours by definition. Do not take offence. Or, if you do, say so, and I’ll try to explain myself better so that you’ll see there’s no reason to.]
Or perhaps there’s something moving about the notion of friendship as an agreement to keep each other company, overlook each other’s faults and not probe too deeply in ways that might undermine the friendship.
Yes, it’s Oliver again. What can I say? He’s got good timing.
In my utterly sleep-deprived (4 hours last night; feeling pretty shaky) and work-panicky state I’ve still managed to find time (mostly the time I lie in bed awake, hoping to sleep) to wonder about friendship. Specifically: what is the optimal ratio of company and good times vs. trying to accept and live with behaviour/characteristics that bother you? Obviously, you can’t have just good times. Equally obviously (in my case anyway) most of the bothersome things are such that, objectively speaking, I have no reason to be bothered – my friends are who they are and I love them just as they are, yet find some things difficult to handle.
Could it be a matter of having already probed too deeply, of knowing too much, of sharing too much information? Or not sharing enough, bottling things up? How to maintain friendship while dealing with “issues” – issues which, ultimately, are all my own? They are not a part of the agreement of friendship. But they are there, and deal with them I must.
I have no answers – I’m not even sure that I have proper questions. Just a non-verbal mass of confused thoughts. I’ll go and get dressed now. Must go to the shop and buy some food.
For light relief, have a kitten: