Pick up the nearest book to you.
Turn to page 45.
The first sentence describes your sex life in 2012.

The only book my newly expatriated self could find this morning was A. S. Byatt’s The Children’s Book. This is what it gave me:

Herr Stern, supervising the stowing of the boxes, suddenly found his voice, and said, in halting English

‘I have brought a gift for the little girls.’

Hi-larious, I’m sure you’ll agree. What a year this will be… ;)

Do not mess with tradition.

# What did you do in 2011 that you’ve never done before

Travelled to Berlin. On my own as well. And I attended a ‘karonkka’ (for the benefit of any random passers-by: an after-party, in this instance a formal academic one) after a friend defended his dissertation. Both good fun. Oh, and I took Open University courses, haven’t done that before either. And there was skyping with video – not exciting as such, but very crucial for future plans.

# Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Yes and no. I’ve made changes and done things that are sort of in the direction I wanted to go but have failed miserably with some ambitions. I’m not feeling resolution-y, not tonight anyway. Just a basic ‘enjoy life’ approach would be good.

# Did anyone close to you give birth?

If they did they hid it well.

# Did anyone close to you die?

No funerals attended.

# What countries did you visit?

Germany.

# What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Freedom with my schedules (likely), more challenging work (guaranteed), more time for hobbies (we’ll see).

# What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Dunno. I started a new job on 1 Feb. Moved out of my old flat 30 Dec. Can’t think of any other dates.

# What’s your biggest achievement of the year?

I got a new job. And then had the courage to leave it for something slightly more…I wouldn’t quite say adventurous, although on my scale it is.

# What was your biggest failure?

Still haven’t found the guts to do an unsupported handstand.

# Did you suffer illness or injury?

Just the usual suspects, nothing new, no injuries as such. Found a new doctor for old ailments though, and very nice she was, too.

# What’s the best thing you bought?

Absolutely nothing comes to mind.

# Whose behaviour merited celebration?

On a personal level, all the friends and acquaintances who’ve helped and supported me when I needed it (thanks). More generally…let’s not even pretend that I remember or, you know, know what’s been going on in the world. I’d have to watch some news review first.

# Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

No names to name but the fear of the year for me has been intolerance and racism. Too much of those around.

# Where did most of your money go?

This is always going to be rent, isn’t it?

# What did you get really, really excited about?

I really, really enjoyed the circus acro classes and acro yoga that I took. I’m bad, very bad, but it’s great fun.

# What song will always remind you of 2011?

Among others, this:

The Wicked soundtrack got me through packing but I can’t find a youtube clip I’d like.

# Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder? Richer or poorer? Thinner or fatter?

• Possibly a bit happier? How does one measure these things? Well, I’ve got more (a lot) to look forward to at least.
• I’m temporarily richer. It will pass, soon.
• Couldn’t fit into old jeans so gave them away and bought new ones. All good.

# What do you wish you’d done more of?

Singing and dancing. The usual.

# What do you wish you’d done less of?

Time-wasting (not that I could always help it).

# How did you spend Christmas?

There were tortillas, a sauna, catching up on sleep, and I was given and I actually read a book that I quite liked. Very relaxing, even if the break was too short.

# Did you fall in love in 2010?

You have to get up before you can fall down again. Or something.

# What was your favourite TV program?

Miranda was beyond brilliant! Highly recommended. It’s rare that I laugh out loud watching telly on my own.

# Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Nah. I don’t hate much.

# What was the best book you read?

I read so few, and I can’t remember what they were without my list (yes I have one shut up), and I’m moving so I don’t quite know where that list is. I didn’t get terribly excited about anything.

# What was your greatest musical discovery?

I think picking up the violin more or less regularly all autumn was probably the best thing (playing in a group helped). I’ve also (re?)discovered a fondness for musicals. Next to Normal was very refreshing.

# What did you want and get?

A job. A grant. A place to study. A better doctor. A good year, it seems.

# What did you want and not get?

Rest. Serves me right for doing too many things at once.

# What was your favourite film of this year?

I hardly went to the cinema at all, but I saw Another Year and Pina and liked them both a lot.

# What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Not sure, but I think it was on my birthday that I tried to go and see an old film but that was cancelled, so I had tea with a friend instead, and went to see some dance.

# What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Better time-management would have been key.

# How would you describe your personal fashion concept for 2010?

If you can still fit into it, wear it. If not, get rid of it. “Scruffy”.

# What kept you sane?

Medication. Kind of.

# What celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I didn’t. Or I can’t remember.

# What political issue stirred you the most?

The parliamentary elections were quite stirring, I’d say.

# Who did you miss?

Boring question.

# Who was the best new person you met?

My workmates were lovely, lovely people. I will miss them.

# Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

Moving abroad is Hard. Work.

That’s it. My sacroiliac joint is killing me and I’ll have to go nurse it. And then I’m off to a party, would you believe it… Happy New Year, dears!

All that talk about an aging population, but keep in mind that it’s actually a fast-growing one, globally speaking.

And then if that feels a bit too serious on a Friday night, go plan yourself a nerdy day trip. Save the planet, go local.

That’s all from me, folks. Unless you’re thinking of getting me a present because I’m so lovely, in which case you could do worse than get me some Tim. Ah, just Minchin’ along to some big orchestra tunes, I’d be, and surely much happier. Now off to listen to (and operate) the hoover instead. Wild times, I’m sure you’ll agree.

It was dark and rainy when I woke up. The day had started as it meant to go on. Relentlessly it nagged me to give up. Congratulations, 3 Oct. You won.

If you ever need to feed me something with my tea, you could do worse than serve these.

Randomness:

• October. What ever happened to September? Anyone?
• What should I do with the spaghetti squash waiting patiently in my fridge? Never cooked one before.
• Money doesn’t buy happiness, they say. It would buy time, though, and more time would make me happier. Weekends whizz past at an alarming pace. Must go and do my shopping for the week to come.
• It’s the first day of Vegan MoFo, by the way. Sadly, I won’t have time to participate this year, but I do intend to try and follow at least the gluten free mofoers.

I meant to do a getting-back-to-posting post about what I should do about managing the impending SAD blues, it being autumnal equinox and all. If this week indicates how things are going to be this winter, I might as well go into hibernation right now – nothing else makes sense – so drastic action is required.

But. It has been rough. Writing requires thinking requires much more than I’m capable of at the moment. I’ll start with some vigorous sleeping instead. Action as in actively pursuing a state of total rest. Sounds like a plan

First things first, I ran my first ever race! Not what you’d call fast, but good enough. I started from the back with another woman of little racing experience and we chatted for the first kilometre (and overtook someone while still chatting, ha!), but then I got it into my stubborn head that I was going to run as fast as I could and not let the others completely disappear from sight, and that resulted in less chat, more  “oh my, I wonder what will happen if I don’t slow down soon; argh, I’m not in very good shape; it’s too hot and man do those cows smell”. But I made it, and felt good afterwards, and once I got home I signed up for my second ever race. Just a 1/4 marathon, but that’s over twice as long as today’s race. I know I can finish it but can I do it in an hour or less? Fingers crossed for nice weather.

There was also the 8,5 km bike ride to the race, and then back, which were both surprisingly nice – should get out on the bike more – and then cleaning the windows (which I don’t mind but could do without the fifteen-minute struggle every time I try to force them to open; still: well done, me), and biking to the shop for food, and buying a new swimsuit (oh yes, indeed, I have great plans to become quite the athlete, ahem (once I learn to put my head under water, that is)). I’ve revelled in the physicality of it all, stuck at the computer as I normally am day in, day out. Movement = happiness. Must have more.

Not to get too sporty on you, I played domestic goddess as well. Laundry happened, and finally, apple pie (should be called a tart, I guess, but to me ‘tart’ implies something fancier, and baking doesn’t get much more rustic than this). The first apple goodness of the autumn (to come; today it’s definitely still summer), made with local-ish sour apples to a tried and tested recipe but without the gluten & dairy. Haven’t tasted it yet but the smell…ahh.

My plan for rest of the evening: pie, tea, an episode of Poirot. Saturdays don’t get much better than this. I hope you had a nice one, too.

A. Age: Let’s start as I mean to go on: not saying. But a year older, again. And my mother gave me a vase. If that doesn’t make one feel old, nothing will.

B. Bed size: Big enough, but my futon is wearing a bit thin.

C. Chore you dislike: Never been a fan of cleaning the bathroom.

D. Dogs: Never.

E. Essential start to your day: Breakfast. Must have breakfast. I’ve been known to forget tea (although not often), but I never forget to eat.

F. Favourite colours: Blue and orange.

G. Gold or silver: Silver, I guess. Not that I have any.

H. Height: 161

I. Instruments you play(ed): Violin. Not very well. I’ve tried piano and guitar at various times, and I used to be able to get a semi-decent sound out of an alto recorder.

J. Job title: You tell me. I call myself an assistant for want of a more informative title.

K. Kids: Oh no.

L. Live: I think so.

M. Mom’s name: Begins with an A.

N. Nicknames: Not many and none that I like. You may call me Ms Moon.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Probably a couple right after birth?

P. Pet peeves: Untidiness. Most sounds that people make when they’re eating. Noisy neighbours.

Q. Quote from a movie: I have no memory for quotes. *asks internet* “Welease Wodewick!” That’ll have to do.

R. Righty or lefty: Hand or politics? Righty, and lefty, respectively. But I use the mouse with my left hand.

S. Siblings: He knows who he is. Also a couple of self-adopted ones. You can’t have too many brothers. Spare mothers are good, too.

T. Time you wake up: Depends. At my current job, between 6 and 7 am.

U. Underwear: Boring.

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Not many. I’ve almost conquered celery, even. Not a huge fan of parsnips or celeriac.

W. What makes you run late: A fatal combination of perfectionism, stubbornness and indecisiveness. But I’m rarely late when it matters.

X. X-rays you’ve had: Several of my teeth and a couple of my lower back & legs.

Y. Yummy food you make: I don’t. Can’t and won’t in perfect harmony. (I’ve had the occasional success but I’d never offer to cook anyone else a meal, ever.)

Z. Zoo animal you like: It’s not like there are special species just for zoos, is it? Not a big fan of zoos. I do remember being very impressed by camels as a child, though. Something about those eyes.

And that, my darlings, was that.